I had a vision of a dystopian future in which participation in reality television shows was compulsory. Every American citizen was required to spend a fixed number of hours stranded on an island with strangers, instigating mayhem on talk shows, going on blind dates with a camera crew in tow, or the like.

The more fortunate had gone though some kind of interesting disease or botched surgery and were therefore able to satisfy the requirement with a profile on "Dateline".

The less fortunate had to appear on the latest hit, "Friends and Lovers", a show of "The Newlywed Game" variety in which the conscriptee’s friends competed with his or her lovers (current and former) to see who would more accurately predict responses to embarrassing questions.

This horrific state had come to pass because the Audience had grown weary of the attention seekers who actually wanted to be on these shows, and were only satisfied with watching the truly discomfitted. The level of humiliation needed to keep things interesting had long surpassed what even the most clueless or masochistic were willing to endure.

I think we're on a slippery slope here, people, so please: if you’re approached by the producer of a reality TV show, just say "No!"