- This entry provided by Special Guest K (thanks, K!) -
Hey Jane, I have some comments on last night’s State of the Union speech by our Dear Leader that I would like to share with your readers….
*Disclaimer
Ok, I admit it, I strongly dislike President George W. Bush. (Generally I use the word “hate” here, but I’m trying to be a little more professional.) I also strongly dislike (in order) Dick Cheney, Tom DeLay, John Ashcroft, and Donald Rumsfeld, probably even more than I hate GW, because he is merely a vessel for their collective evilness (ok, evil may be too harsh of a word, I admit, but I can’t come up with anything close-enough-but- not-evil that truly encapsulates my feelings here). I also dislike most of the policies of Condoleezza Rice, but you have to give it up for any black woman who is a National Security Advisor, at least a little (plus, she kicks Kissinger’s ass, in my opinion – although in my opinion most people outside of Hitler kick Kissinger’s ass). I’m not very fond of Gale Norton, either. I would love to say that I strongly dislike Karl Rove, but you have to respect someone who is just that good. I do like Colin Powell and Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine, and I have a grudging respect for Senator John McCain – Republicans all. So I’m not a total GOP-hater, just for the most part. And I’m sure there are other moderate Republicans out there who are decent people that I would respect if I knew more about them.
Watching the State of the Union is Fun
My boyfriend did not want to watch GW’s speech because he said it would be upsetting. “Not so,” said I. There are many fun things about watching the State of the Union, even when you are not a Presidential Fan. For example, watching the State of the Union gives the Average Citizen a great opportunity to yell back at President Bush. Like this: if he says we will establish a Healthy Forest Initiative, you yell back “How, by cutting down every other tree?” Or when he says we should help African AIDS sufferers, you scream “Like you even know where Africa is!” Really, it’s pretty fun. Try it. Also, you get to see our elected leadership in unscripted moments, like when the NBC cameras panned in on John McCain and he looked like he was nearly asleep. That was fun!
Substance
Yes, there was substance in GW’s speech last night (he has speechwriters, after all). Good decision to talk about all the domestic issues first and leave the war-mongering until the end. That lets people know that GW cares about our domestic issues – lest he fall into the trap that ensnared père Bush. Now, while I applaud this focus on domestic issues, I was astounded at what some of them turned out to be. Hydrogen-powered cars? A Healthy Forest Initiative? These are laughable coming from the mouth of Dear Leader (I did enjoy his stumbling over the science of the hydrogen-powered, zero-emission autos). Too laughable to believe for even an instant that issues like these are near and dear to the Bush administration’s collective heart. I was happily surprised to hear GW’s call for greater funding for AIDS in Africa and the Caribbean, but I’ll believe it when I see it. Same with prescription drug benefits for Medicare recipients. And he managed to sneak in his truly ludicrous tax cut plan (how an able-minded – a relative term, true – person can say that cutting the derivatives tax will help the economy and the Average American with a straight face is beyond me) and a reference to ending partial-birth abortion (I knew we were headed for trouble when he started talking about the sanctity of all human life). All in all, he said many of the right things. I just find it hard to believe that either 1) he means them or 2) they are something that will survive the legislative process (we have no money, people, and a war to get on).
As for the war-mongering bit, I thought GW actually did a good job in keeping calm when discussing his arch-enemy Saddam Hussein. His tone was reasonable but firm as he laid out Saddam’s history of non-compliance. The problem lies in the fact that the Average American doesn’t know whether to believe this history, or whether there really is any proof that weapons are missing or unaccounted for. Still, even for die-hard liberals it’s easier to believe the President than Saddam Hussein. GW seemed more willing in his speech than he has in recent weeks to continue to consult with European allies, which is a good sign. The question, again and again, is does he actually mean it? Who knows, but we should find out in the coming weeks. Winter is in full bloom in the Middle East, and we sure don’t want to go to war in the summer…. Now, a special note to Dear Leader: I don’t think the Iraqi people would consider a U.S. invasion and military protectorate true liberation, technically speaking. Nor would the rest of the Middle East. If you haven’t noticed, they do not like us.
Finally, I noted that GW did not once mention the Dear Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Il (whose hair bears a strong resemblance to Lyle Lovett’s signature ‘do – it’s true, just last week my boyfriend glanced at the cover of Newsweek and said “Why is Lyle Lovett on the cover?” and without even looking at it I said, “No, it’s Kim Jong Il” and I was right). This was a shrewd move. Like Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il is a megalomaniac who clearly has an ego to end all egos. Getting dissed in the State of the Union like he was last night has got to piss him off. Way to show him who’s boss, GW. You, Kim Jong Il, are a fly on the consciousness of the mighty United States of America. But, because you refused to back down when WE refused to negotiate with you, we are willing to talk. Maybe if you had not embarrassed our Dear Leader by holding talks with a Democratic governor, of all people, you would have rated a mention in the State of the Union. Too bad, so sad.
Smirky McSmirk Resurfaces
God how I love the phrase that my friend Jane found in her devious little brain shortly after Dear Leader was “elected”: Smirky McSmirk. This was back in the days when I would wake up to NPR in the morning and cringe at the new moniker “president-elect Bush.” It took me several months, long after “president-elect” became “president,” before I could wake up to NPR in the morning and not have to slam the snooze button in desperation every time Smirky McSmirk himself had something to say. Even his voice was smirky. This, if you recall, was back when GW welcomed us to his administration with a bunch of wacko right wing pronouncements and served notice that “conservatism” was much more important than “compassionate.” So there he was again last night, smirking his way through the speech, although it was clear he trying to exhibit compassionate behavior. You could just see Karl Rove during speech prep, instructing GW/SS on exactly where to do that special thing with his voice to simulate compassion (“When you’re talking about AIDS, Mr. President, right there, you need to look really sad. I mean, really sad. Let’s try it again….”) Now, President Clinton may have been, at times, a lying son of a bitch, but when he talked about AIDS, or those living in poverty, or a bucket of fried chicken, you cried right along with him, man.
Things Happily Missing from last Night’s State of the Union
- Axis of Evil. Clearly, this phrase from last year’s State of the Union was a mistake. It pissed people off to be put in the Axis of Evil. I think it’s no small coincidence that a year later we are close to war with both Iraq and North Korea, two founding members of the Axis. GW used the word evil many times in reference to Saddam, but thankfully he left out the Axis part. Let’s hope it’s gone for good.
- Trent Lott. I mean, the guy did screw himself over pretty badly, but who would have thought he would disappear this fast? I didn’t see him once last night during all of NBC’s politician pans (except maybe once in the deep background, but I can’t be positive), nor did I see him doing any post speech spin. He’s become the bad face of the Republican party, and they’re keeping him out of sight. I’m betting he retires as soon as his term is up (he can’t retire sooner because Mississippi has a Democratic governor who would appoint his replacement). It’s no fun being high and mighty on power and then getting stuck sitting at the back of the room, muzzled. Just ask Bill Clinton.
- Salutes to special guests sitting with the First Lady. Good choice by GW’s handlers to end this tradition of spending a good chunk of the speech pointing out soldiers or 9/11 victims’ relatives or people down on their luck but determined to improve their lot in live for cheap applause. Case in point: Clinton did this masterfully in the speech right after the Monica Lewinsky allegations came to light by looking up at the gallery and pointing out Rosa Parks. I mean, what Republican can not stand and clap wildly for Rosa Parks? Even Trent Lott had to clap his heart out for her. Folks, let me say it again, that was masterful, and Clinton was good at it. But it gets old. Bush is not so good at it, and although the guests were there (today’s New York Times printed a list), they went unidentified during the speech.
- Finger stabbing. You have to hand it to him, Bush kept his fingers to himself. No stabbing the air to emphasize how we would destroy Saddam Hussein or to warn France and Germany that if they are not with us then they are against us. Perhaps he read the reports from Europe last week that our Continental brethren are tired of seeing Mr. Cowboy. They singled out the finger stabbing as being particularly demeaning. So, French citizens, listen up: you may be against us, but when it comes to easy fixes like finger stabbing, GW listens. Please complain about the smirk next, let’s see how far we can ride this baby….
- Dick Armey. I got sick of watching him during Clinton’s speeches, leaning back with his cowboy-booted ankle crossed against his knee, looking bored. Such arrogance. Good choice by Dick Armey to retire. Bad choice to choose his son to replace him (he lost, ha ha, thank god for the democratic process). Very bad choice for his replacement as Majority Leader, Tom DeLay.
Things Sadly NOT Missing from last Night’s State of the Union
- All the clapping. I mean really, the thing would be much more tolerable if the clapping was kept to the end. You don’t need to stand and clap for EVERYTHING just because the President is from your party. I’ll admit, it can be fun to watch different issues elicit different responses from the two sides of the aisle, but on the whole the American people could do without it. We have an economy to pick up by its bootstraps, so we can’t sit around watching TV all day. Side note: did you notice that the Joint Chiefs were not joining in with all the clapping? They just sat there, stoic, while the chamber erupted in one clap-fest after another. Now, this was during the war half of GW’s speech, and I suppose it isn’t appropriate for the military to clap at war, but I still salute their willingness to buck the clapping trend. My guess is that any Supreme Court members in attendance (NBC didn’t show any, but they are usually there) did not clap either. Wouldn’t be prudent.
- Tom DeLay.
- Dick “one-side-of-bacon-away” Cheney, Smirky McSmirk’s sidekick, his own little smirk not that appreciated as he was, unfortunately, always in view behind GW during the speech. Two smirky smirks too many.
Way to go Gary
Our very own Governor, Gary Locke, was chosen by the Democratic Governor’s Association to give the Democratic rebuttal to the State of the Union. Kudos to Nancy Pelosi et al. for realizing that the American people don’t want to see Congresspersons taking shots at each other. There was a little concern out here in the “other Washington” that Gary might not do well. He does have a little charisma problem, we will admit. Plus, he was quoted in Tuesday’s New York Times saying this about the job of giving the rebuttal to GW: “Yikes!” That didn’t give us confidence, Gary. But the Democratic speechwriters and image-molders, having not much else to do, came to the rescue and our Governor looked pretty darn good up there before the national TV audience. Except for the cheesy smile that showed up whenever there was a pause in the text. That wasn’t the best, but we forgive you, Gary! Gary did a good job of supporting GW on matters of national security (but not in rushing to war on our own) while promoting the Democratic platform on domestic issues that are near and dear to the heart of what the pollsters call the Average American Voter.
Even more important, I think our Governor presented a good face for the Democratic party: unlike Dear Leader, he came from a poor family, straight out of public housing, and everything he has achieved came from his own hard work. Gary’s grandfather immigrated from China and worked as a servant in Olympia, a mile from where Gary now resides in the Governor’s Mansion (ok, those familiar with Washington state politics have heard Gary tell that story a little too often, but for the national audience, it was touching – so be touched, dammit). He went to Yale (and not because he daddy went there) and then got a law degree at Boston University (not Boston College, as Tom Brokaw said – get new interns, Tom), and worked his way through the ranks as county executive and state legislator before becoming governor. Ok, it may be true that Gary is not the best governor there ever was. He’s a little wishy-washy when it comes to making decisions, which is not great when you are the executive of an entire state, and he doesn’t have the greatest leadership qualities. But he’s ours and he did us proud. Good work Gary!
Finale
All in all, another rousing State of the Union event. Let us all thank the Founding Fathers for this constitutionally-mandated event. It wouldn’t be January without it. It wouldn’t be January without the threat of war, either, but the State of the Union is shorter and costs less money, so I for one salute it.