Okay, I’ve been asking nicely since you stole the election in 2000, but really, enough is enough.

While the United States Congress has not lived up to its responsibility to initiate impeachment proceedings, a broad coalition of my friends have the resolve and fortitude to act against this threat to common sense.

You and your cronies must leave the White House in 48 hours.

It’s true that unlike some people I could mention, I can’t back up this ultimatum with the most powerful military force in the world. However, I do have this G.I. Jane doll, which, if you fail to comply, I pledge to wave angrily in your direction every time I see your war-mongering mug on TV, every time I hear your over-rehearsed voice oozing from the radio.

P.S. Enjoy the pretzels.