I am wearing hair sticks today. I have securely fastened my hair in a twisty little bun using nothing but two sticks. I am disproportionately proud of this accomplishment.

This is what happened when I bought the sticks:

The Clerk gave me a credit slip and a pen. There was already a pen on the counter. It’s a black Papermate with a missing cap, just like the pen she gave me. I can’t help it: I hold the pens together, next to the hair sticks.

ME: Maybe I should save some money and just use pens.
THE CLERK: Heh heh.

I decide not to make a joke about going to the Mont Blanc store for hair accessories.