Dear Canada,

Thank you for your quick response to my earlier message. The brochure you enclosed, "So You Want to Be Annexed by Canada", was extremely helpful, and gave me and my fellow Washingtonians a lot to think about.

First, let me say that I understand your concerns about the Domino Effect - you let in one state, and then another, and another, and pretty soon New Jersey has been sleeping on your couch for eight months. And I know you think we're pretty chummy with Oregon, that we'll insist on hanging out, but I swear, passing that anti-gay marriage amendment was the last straw - you can count on us to lock down that border...right after we invade Multnomah County. We think we'll be greeted as liberators.

Look, there I go, getting all American on you. I'll work on that, I promise.

I know other states have flirted with going Canadian, and it's always ended badly. I only have Maine's side of the story, but I'm sure the New Brunswick had very good reasons for calling it off. And I'm really sorry it got so ugly, but come on - everybody knew North Dakota was just using Manitoba to make South Dakota jealous.

This is different, Canada. Washington loves you. Let's make it legal, baby.

Yours in anticipation,

Jane