So here I am in my room (lucky #7) in a Sorority House That Shall Remain Nameless, ready to spend the next six weeks devoted exclusively to writing, reading, critiquing, and whatever other activities may be required to keep me from going crazy.

I won't be including any narrative detail about the experience of Clarion West, but -- since I loves me some statistics -- I will attempt to dutifully track the following:

Number of Times I Have Been Late to Class / Meetings:
Those of you who know me are well aware that I have, shall we say, Issues in This Area. The current number is Zero, and, no, that isn't because we haven't had any. I'm tracking this because I'm trying to ensure better behavior, and while public humiliation has never worked before, it's worth another shot.

Number of Oh-My-God-I-Need-a-Drink Moments: One

Number of Drinks Consumed in Said State: Zero

Number of Times I've Used My Brand New Yoga Mat: One

Number of Times I've Used It for Yoga: One

Caffeine Intake Level: Low

Sleep Deprivation Level: Low

Homicidal Tendencies: Nihil

Number of Stories I've Critiqued: Six

Number of Stories Submitted for Critique: Zero
My first story is due Wednesday at 9:00 a.m.

Let the office betting pools begin!