Number of Times I Have Been Late to Class / Meetings: oh, yes -- still Zero

Number of Oh-My-God-I-Need-a-Drink Moments: Two

Number of Drinks Consumed in Said State: Still Zero

Number of Times I've Used My Brand New Yoga Mat: Three

Number of Times I've Used It for Yoga: Ditto

Number of Days the Yoga Mat Joke Has Been Stale: at least Three

Caffeine Intake Level: Medium

Sleep Deprivation Level: Medium

Homicidal Tendencies: Nihil

Number of Stories I've Critiqued: Sixteen

Number of Stories Submitted for Critique: One

Analogy for the Critique of My Most Recent Story: Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch

Level of Satisfaction with Current Story in Progress: Medium