Got this missive from the spamcavern yesterday, apparently meant for my slightly-more-evil twin:

Dear Lindsley Heather,

The Heritage Registry of Who’s Who™ is recognizing you for possible inclusion in the upcoming 2007-08 edition. Your invitation is a result of the success your organization has attained.

Recognition of this kind is shared by thousands of Executive Men and Women throughout the United States and Canada. The Heritage Registry of Who’s Who™ acknowledges individuals for their achievements in their specific profession.

First of all, my “organization”, as they insist on calling it, is supposed to be superduper secret, so clearly it is a failure. Sigh. Now I have to dump out the clones, boil the mason jars, and start all over from scratch in a completely different shack in the woods. Thank you, Heritage Registry of Who’s Whoâ„¢.

Also, why would I be interested in sharing recognition of this kind with thousands of Executive Men and Women? As an Executive Man or Woman who has been acknowledged for achievements in my specific field (presumably personal cloning) I am disinterested in the sharing of recognition. Now if they publish a handsome leather-bound edition of the Heritage Registry of Who’s Lindsley Heather™ I will order hundreds.

Because even soulless cloned abominations should have something to open on Christmas morning.