First, I’m sorry I left you alone with the German Boogie Man for so very long. That was bad. Awful. Inexcusable, really.

Here is my excuse:

I finally had it with the almost-finished novel. It had been sooooo close for so long that I just couldn’t take it anymore. And at the same time I started a new and challenging (in a good way) project in Day Job Land.

So I gave up sleep, and most e-mail, and much socializing, and yes, posting here.

But I’m back now, with the news that the last revision is done, along with the synopsis as announced, and the query letters are on their way out.

And I feel really good about the novel…about the revision, and the new material, and especially about kicking it out of the house. Now I’ll be able to finish up some stories and get started on the Mayfly novel I’ve been mulling over for a while. Oh, and when I see something blogworthy I’ll be able to post about it rather than substituting the urge with self-flagellation and novel wrestling. Hooray!

In other news, I just finished a whirlwind tour of the U.S.: two nights in Seattle, three nights in Madison, Wisconsin, and then two nights in New York City. I got back to London today, and will offer more news after some much-needed sleep.

Aber möglicherweise sollten Sie nicht:

Tech-no!!!, via WFMU.

I owe an update on the many fabulous interactions at Norwescon, as well as a report on the trip to Strasbourg with Ma and Pa that immediately followed and only recently concluded, but for now I will present a Cavalcade of Links:

Buñuel + Svankmajer + Dick and Jane = this.

And a touch of Trilogy of Terror #3, come to think of it (crap, I’m going to have nightmares now).

And don’t forget: shiny side out, people.

I’m off to Seattle tomorrow morning to celebrate my fifth-ever science fiction convention by attending as a participating (and very humble) pro…which perhaps explains the dizziness.

If you happen to be at Norwescon, I will be among those taking about:

Text-lepathy…behold the future of implanted text messaging devices!
Thursday, 4:00 PM, Cascade 3

The Human Being in a Thousand Years…flesh and blood or cybernaut?
Thursday, 5:00 PM, Cascade 10

Tricky Tricksters…in which I will be talking about my favorite gender-bending Norse troublemaker.
Friday, 2:00 PM, Cascade 5

Exotic Mythologies…no, not like Exotic Dancing. Well, maybe. Come and find out.
Friday, 10:00 PM, Cascade 4

My Reading…see below.
Saturday, 2:00 PM, Cascade 3

Bag and Baggage…how to reconcile the advice “write what you know” with the fact that you write freaky, freaky unreal things.
Saturday, 3:00 PM, Evergreen 4

Revision: If I Didn’t Get It Right The First Time, How Do I Do It Better The Second?
Sunday, 12:00 PM, Evergreen 3

Curtain Up: Speculative Fiction Onstage…in which I will say — in complete seriousness — “Laurence Olivier portrayed a holographic floating head named Akash.” If you don’t follow that link then scroll to the bottom and go on to the next page, you are doing yourself, Dave Clark, and holographic floating heads from another dimension a major disservice.
Sunday, 2:00 PM, Cascade 6

Yep, on Saturday at 2:00 PM in Cascade 3 I’ll be reading from my (yet unpublished but finally ready to be seen) novel, The Goddess of Nothing in Particular. Saturday at 2:00 PM is a great time slot…so great it’s also the reading slot of writer guest of honor Kim Stanley Robinson.

So, um, yeah. Even the loyal E would blow me off for that, and he would not be blamed.

Therefore, dear friends and relations, if you read the above and thought, “Kim Stanley Who?”, please come to the Sea-Tac Doubletree for my reading.

Dear Friends and Enemies of Kraftwerk,

You will both love this:

Clip via A, post title via S’s t-shirt.

This picture has been sitting among the random files on my desktop for, jeez, 19 months now while I’ve sought a context for it apart from, “Look at this wacky thing I found on a knitting site that I stumbled on for no reason I can recall.”

19 months, is, coincidentally, the amount of time that I’ve been meaning / trying / neglecting to finish a worthy novel synopsis.

So that’s two things done today…

I’m older! And not just in that lame we’re-all-older-every-single-moment-of-every-single-day way. My way involves cake! And fire! Lots of fire!

“Just Do It” is up on Escape Pod, read by the fabulous Word Whore of the podcast Air Out My Shorts. I’m pleased to be read by someone with such a nom de pod, and at least three of you know why.

And in a particularly sweet dollop of icing on this cakey goodness, the podcast has been boingboinged.

Let’s say it is.

A few things from my notebook:

There is, by the way, a reason the Incredible Hulk isn’t set in London…

Page 1, Panel 1: Bruce Banner dresses for work.
Page 1, Panel 2: Bruce Banner enters London Underground Station.
Page 1, Panel 3: Enraged by crowds, Banner transforms into the Hulk.

See? No suspense.

Must Write Stone Age SF…
… so I have an excuse to call it CavePunk.

At the poetry reading…

Never say which is your favorite.
Pineapple juice is barely interesting, and never sexy.
I don’t care about your artistic journey.

Ominous…
The stainless steel elevator doors have conspicuous fingerprints, one hand’s worth on each side at the very top of doors. They are smeary in a way that indicates strenuous effort.

An American Kid, Maybe Five Years Old …
…has been chattering on the Tube. He see the Bermondsey stop and announces that we have arrived at “Beer Money”, a phrase he has obviously heard before.

I’m having a hard time deciding what to post here…the Day Job Project is three weeks deep into madness, and I foresee another couple weeks in the same condition. Outside the project I have lots of reasons to be anxious, some less abstract than others —

— like this thing on my leg. A few days ago this thing appeared on my leg. I have variously surmised it to be — in order as it waxed and then, thankfully tonight, waned — a rash, an ingrown hair, an exotic bug bite, ebola, an infected area around a splinter, a boil. A good long soak in the tub seems to have helped, but tonight I will outline the affected area with a felt tip pen. If tomorrow morning the ebola boil bug bite exceeds the boundary I will seek medical attention. See, Mom — I am taking care of myself.

And now I’m thinking how handy it would be if I could draw around everything stressing me out so I can keep track of whether it’s getting better or worse. Yes, people, of course there would be inked up people, but also my inadequate novel synopsis, malfunctioning technology large and small, inner and outer demons, and entire governments circled with Sharpie.

Okay, back to work on the synopsis.