My Afternoon Can’t Pick a Genre

4:52 p.m., Romance Moment: Walked through field of swaying grass as a stray lock of my hair danced in the breeze.

5:07 p.m., Science Fiction Moment: Interacted with automated checkout device at Home Depot.

5:13 p.m., Horror Moment: Repulsed by desiccated rat body on the grass next to the sidewalk.

5:18 p.m., Fantasy Moment: Received Cookie of Power from next door neighbor as she urged me forth on my quest to Mow the Lawn. Fate smiled on me, for I had acquired the Commercial Grade Serrated Trimmer Line of Destiny.

5:46 p.m., Mystery Moment: Mowed over patch of lawn where body is buried.

6:21 p.m., Mainstream Moment: Sat on deck, drank beer, had epiphany about the human condition.